Ok so instead of writing I’m watching 7th Heaven and holy shit for a
show about an entire family of supes religious people EVERY SINGLE SCENE IS ABOUT PEOPLE ANGSTING OVER DOIN’ THE DO SO MUCH ANGST.
Anonymous asked: how does jane respond to kaidan's horizon letter/horizon in general? i would love to hear your headcanon
It’s spam, with a blatantly threatening attachment. Sent to his extranet account, the personal one, and at least he hopes it’s spam because the alternative is that his mother is very, very concerned with the size of his, uh… message buffer.
Suspicious attachment and a fake header. A fake header that doesn’t even pretend at anything else, because no personal message would be routed through both the Sahrabarik and Iera comm buoys, much less hit the Mu buoy, which Kaidan is pretty sure can still only be accessed by the research team embedded on Ilos.
It’s a puzzle, but a familiar one. He downloads it to a secure partition on his omni-tool, and waits.
Her puzzles had never been hard, never complicated. Clever, at times, and crude a surprising amount of others, but he never got the feeling she ever intended to challenge him. A text interpretation of human genitalia might reveal a meaningless scrap of ship gossip gleaned from Ashley, a basic training algorithm from the Academy could hack into an invitation to coffee in the mess. Three notes from the half-remembered song he’d hummed over the buggy status panel had unlocked what he was pretty sure was a picture of her underwear - though with Shepard’s photography skills, there was really no way to be sure.
He lets it sit there for weeks, quiet and polite. Waiting for him, not to solve the puzzle but to decide whether he wants it to be solved at all. He’d said his piece, after all, maybe that’s where things between them are best left.
One glass of whiskey too many after a strategy meeting with Anderson, and he finds himself loading the file, typing in the words he knows will end the game, for better or for worse.
Her message is simple, direct, and so Shepard it curls in his throat, caught halfway between a laugh and a sob.
Every time the guy in the cubicle next to me tells me I have it easy because I can’t afford a house and don’t have to deal with house problems, I concentrate really hard on developing laser eyes. Is there a kink for laser eyes? Laser eyes.
"Would you…mind closing your eyes?"
Shepard whips around to face Kaidan, who’s at least got the good sense to have the bashful-forehead-rub-and-sheepish-mouth-twist look going for him. Her eyes narrow on a point about ten centimeters left of his ear, and whorls of smoke rise from the spot. “I’m sorry, Major, is my using my Cerberus-installed ocular laser making you uncomfortable?”
Kaidan turns pink. “Well…yeah.”
She’s a nanosecond away from launching the yeah-and-got-resurrected-by-Cerberus-but-that-wasn’t-really-my-fault-so-suck-it speech she’d practiced while in custody back on Earth when Kaidan rocks back on his hips, eyes darting away as his cheeks go full crimson. Her mouth gapes in disbelief. “Is this…am I…?”
He sighs. “Ever heard of X-Men? Cyclops might’ve been my first teen crush.”
Well. Shepard smirks, the red light of her ocular laser pulsing slighly. “You know, I bet I could slice that armor right off you right now with the sight. Literally undress you with my eyes.”
Kaidan swallows. Shepard just laughs, low and evil.
OH MY GOD
I should be writing someone kick my butt until I do the thing
Sometimes being in a fandom is like living in a cheap apartment complex with paper-thin walls where everybody shouts a lot and you really hate the other tenants.
I could be like “I love kristoffbjorgman,” and you would think I’m talking
about everyone’s fav beefy ice harvester, but I’m actually talking about the
Australian Disney fan blog kristoffbjorgman run by a rabid crack shipper who is currently having
the best drunk blogging spree I have EVER seen.